You may not have picked up on this, but I really like D&D. And my favorite part is arguably creating and developing D&D characters . . . as evidenced by the fact that I have more D&D characters than I'll ever actually play, even when you don't count NPCs with character sheets. It's a nice outlet for the ideas that probably won't fit into any of the stories I have planned (of which there are many). At this point, I have characters built in each of the D&D classes except one . . . but there are definitely some classes and subclasses that I like more than others. So, in honor of the fact that I might get to actually play a new character soon, I thought I'd take today's Friday 5s to highlight some of my favorite D&D subclasses.

In Which I Ramble About D&D Characters

1. Fighter: Eldritch Knight. The Fighter class in general is usually not my go-to, but the Eldritch Knight, a warrior-magic user hybrid, is the exception — it's the only subclass I have two distinct created character concepts for. I think it offers some nice hooks for character development (notably, how and why did this character pick up the ability to do magic?), but it doesn't tie you as much to a particular character type in the way that many other martial-caster hybrids do. I haven't actually gotten to play an Eldritch Knight yet, but one of the players in my campaign does, and I look forward to the day I get to as well.
2. Warlock: Celestial Pact. On the flip side from the Fighter, I find several of the Warlock subclasses interesting — I'd probably play all but two of them, given the chance. It's hard to pick a favorite, but if I had to choose, I'd go with the Pact of the Celestial. It's so contrary to the typical associations of the Warlock class, plus it gives a very nice character hook in the form of "If this character is pledged to a celestial, near-deity being, why is this character a Warlock instead of a completely different class?"
3. Monk: Way of the Cobalt Soul. I know it's not an official, published D&D subclass (though it's a Matt Mercer original, and it's on D&D Beyond, so it's practically official), but I just really like the vibes of the Cobalt Soul Monk. Like, the Monk class in general is fun (it would be my first choice if I wanted to play a martial-only character), but this particular subclass is probably my favorite — it's the perfect balance between the academic, nerdish type of awesome and the more, ah, battle-ready type of awesome. (Is my love of this class influenced by my love of stories like The Invisible Library? Absolutely. Is that a problem? Absolutely not.)
4. Rogue: Arcane Trickster. Fun fact: my first character was almost an Arcane Trickster Rogue (read: Rogue with magic). I decided not to because I wasn't confident enough to pull off the character concept I'd come up with . . . but it would've been fun. As you've probably picked up on by now, I really enjoy half-caster classes (they do a little of everything!), and the Arcane Trickster gives you some nice character hooks without doing too much to suggest a particular backstory or character type. (That said, I do eventually want to dust off that first character idea and play her someday. We'll see if and when it actually happens.)
5. Paladin: Oath of Devotion. I'll admit, this is makes my list for personal reasons than stylistic ones — my first D&D character (who I'm still playing!) is an Oath of Devotion paladin. But I do love the class concept all the same. It's the archetypal holy warrior, the knight who stands in the way of darkness with a sword and shield of light (figuratively, not literally) and defends all that is good, who puts their life on the line for friend or stranger or, in some cases, even an enemy. And even if I don't always play my paladin that way (she asked for none of this, y'all), it's very much an archetype I love.

So, yeah. I would like to say that I'm off to make yet another D&D character, but I'm probably actually going to go try to finish Bastian Dennel, PI #3, which is an objectively more productive use of my time. But in the meantime, do you play D&D? What are your favorite character classes or subclasses, either that you've played or that you really want to play? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!

 Happy Friday, everyone! So, everyone probably has figured out by now that I am a pretty big fan of D&D and tabletop roleplaying games in general. I play in two games, I run another, and I'm in the process of writing two campaigns, which between them get roughly the same amount of time, energy, and excitement as my actual novels. Some of my best memories of the last couple of years come from D&D sessions, and weekly D&D games have helped me keep some of my college friendships not only alive but thriving. So, yeah. Whatever its reputation, D&D can bring about a lot of good things.

But I'm not here to talk about the pros of D&D for people in general (though I totally will write that post if anyone wants to read it). I'm here to talk about how D&D can help writers specifically. And I'm not just looking at people who write and run a full homebrewed campaign; these points apply to players and DMs alike, whether they're working with a pre-written campaign and world or a completely original story and storyworld. Some will apply more to certain situations, but I think they're all pretty universal.

D&D's Worth for a Writer

1. It teaches you how to hold your stories with a loose hand. For many writers, it can be difficult to see past your particular plans for your story, whether it's a full outline you've built or the way you think a character is or a scene you really want to have happen. We get caught up on these things and, as a result, get stuck because we didn't see the better option. But if there is one truly universal constant in D&D, it's that you can never get too attached to a particular way you want a story to go. Sometimes things will work out how you planned. But there are a lot of factors to consider — the DM, the (other) players, your own ability to speak, and, of course, the dice — and sometimes . . . it doesn't happen. Your players take out the long-term boss after only two encounters. Your DM throws a whole flight of blue dragons at a city you thought was safe. A fellow player turns on the party or decides his character is going to have a mental breakdown. The story you thought you were going to tell isn't going to work, so you have to be willing to improvise — but the story as a whole ends up better for it. The same is true in writing. Maybe the story isn't going to go the way you thought it was going to go. Or maybe your beta readers say that scene you love needs to go. It's not fun. But a willingness to improvise, to hold your story loosely, will bring a better result.
2. It helps you learn how to tell a story with others. This is related to my previous point, but still somewhat different. D&D is a game in which four or five different people are trying to tell at least that many stories at the same time and interwoven with one another. You have to learn how to share the spotlight and how to build off each other. You have to learn each others' strengths and your own strengths and play off of each other. And these are the same skills you need (in a more intense form) if you want to do any form of collaborative writing, whether that's coauthoring a book, sharing a storyworld, or any other type of collaborative formalized storytelling.
3. It's a good testing ground for new ideas. This one does apply more to DMs than players, since it's hard for players to bring something in for the short term and then drop it if it doesn't work out. But if you have that freedom (or if you don't mind doing some long-term testing), D&D can be a great way to see how people react to a particular character, dynamic, concept, or so on. You just have to keep in mind that your creations may not come off like you imagined them in your head . . . and they're always at the mercy of the dice. (And that is why a particular NPC, who was supposed to be thoroughly epic and mysterious, instead became the subject of many a joke . . . but it's fine. He works better in written form.)
4. It allows you to tell stories you can't tell in a traditional form. I am never one to disparage the written word. But some stories, characters, and concepts can be better explored in other media (which is also one of the big reasons I think certain types of anime, graphic novels, and webcomics are super cool . . . but that's a topic for another post). You can take the story of a D&D campaign and write it down as a book, and it may or may not work depending on how you go about it and how much editing you do. But, in many cases, you couldn't have written that story first because you wouldn't have thought to write it the way it happened. The funny thing is, though, that telling those stories helps you write the other stories better because it gives you another perspective and thoughtspace to work from.
5. It teaches you a lot about worldbuilding. This is the most DM-centric point here. Worldbuilding is key in any fantasy story, but it's especially important in D&D. Why? Because your players need to, in a certain sense, live in the world you're building, more so than readers need to live in a book's storyworld. And you have both less time to introduce setting elements than you would in a book (after all, as a DM, you can only talk for so long before your players start getting annoyed) and fewer opportunities to reinforce those elements. So, you have to make the most of what space you can use, which means making sure you can attach important details to things people remember — which usually means backstory or people. It's a challenge. But once you've done it for a while, or once you watch a DM do it well for a while, you can pick up ways to give your written worldbuilding a little more oomph.

Do you play D&D, or are you interested in playing D&D? What other benefits do you think roleplaying might have for writers? Or, if you're not into roleplaying, what's something you've learned about writing from a not-explicitly-writing hobby? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!

 Hey'a, everyone! We're down to two weeks before the I release The Midnight Show into the world! It's hard to believe it's so close; it seems not that long ago that I was trying to cram as much writing time as I could into the day in order to get it done in time to publish properly. Now, instead, I'm wrangling cover issues and waiting for the manuscript to get back from my proofreader. While I wait, I've been putting most of my writing energy towards my D&D campaign . . . which, at the moment, is about 50% making NPCs. Lots of NPCs. Honestly, NPCs (and other realifying miscellanea of D&D worldbuilding, like shops and monuments and non-plot-essential locations and such) are one of the most stressful parts of D&D-writing, mostly because it's such a delicate balance that I never know if I'm navigating properly. After all, I don't want to put a ton of effort into someone my characters may never interact with, but I also don't want to leave myself hanging by not coming up with enough info in advance, especially since it tends to be those NPC that make a D&D world  While I've used several different approaches, they all have their dangers . . . which is what I'm going to talk about today, mostly because, as I said before, it's consuming my life a little bit right now. With that said: so, you need an NPC . . .

So You Need an NPC . . .

1. The easy way: Do nothing. Just improv. I'm told that some DMs have this as their default for non-plot-essential NPCs, and I'm pretty sure my DM is one of them . . . but how they do it, I don't know. This sounds like it's just asking to get stuck for a name and more at the worst possible moment. And, I mean, I could do what Matt Mercer suggests and have a list of possible NPC names behind my DM screen . . . but if I'm going to go to the trouble of prepping that, I might as well prep more. Right?
2. The logical way: look at the scenario; see what it demands; go from there. Which, yes, is what practically ends up happening. Semi-significant shopkeepers get a name, a couple major physical characteristics, a few defining character traits or relationships with other NPCs for color, and maybe a note on background if it's relevant (for example, if the owner of a magic shop is a former adventurer). More important NPCs get more detail. Random guards or enemies have a note of their existence and no more. (Of course, sometimes this backfires and your players befriend the random guard they or even the random goblin enemy and the next thing you know, they're attached — which didn't happen in the campaign I run, but did happen in a campaign I play in. Said random guard and random goblin recently came back into the story for a bit with actual class levels.) Anyway. The issue with this method is that your imagination very quickly goes dry, at which point you have to supplement with another method. For instance . . .
3. The tech way: Use an NPC generator. Yes, these exist. Fantasy Name Generators has one, and there are others you can find with a quick search. As it turns out, though, they're more time-consuming than they're worth. Trust me on this one; I once spent way too much time trying to use them to fill out a market's shops and stalls. For some situations and DMs, they might work, but they aren't for me.
4. The writer way: Adapt characters from your other writing projects. This is my second-most common fallback for when I'm out of inspiration and need five more NPCs for tomorrow's session. I mean, I have all these characters just sitting around, and I love doing AUs anyway; I might as well put those habits to good use. Sometimes I even put those habits to good use by using them for semi-major recurring NPCs. Hey, it works.
5. The sneaky way: D&D-ify your favorite fandom characters and wait for someone to notice. If anyone asks, it's an homage. Or a cameo. Or it never happened at all. But, yes, this is my number one way of getting unstuck on NPCs: start with a fandom character, AU-ify them, and then keep making modifications until it works. So far, these have ranged from "So subtle no one noticed" to "The only way no one's going to notice this is if they haven't read the source work." Most of the characters on the latter end of the spectrum haven't been introduced or encountered yet, though, so we'll see what happens if and when we get there.

And for those wondering . . . yes, this also applies to creating secondary and minor characters in novels and other linear prose, though numbers four and five are a little trickier to pull off in those scenarios. If you're a DM (or a writer), which of these methods do you end up using most often? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!

April 2020 Doings!

Well. That month probably existed. I mean, I'm 90% sure it did and it wasn't just a mass hallucination since a couple reasonably significant things happened in it. But since I may look back in the future and have my doubts, let's get going with recording the Doings!

Writing!

• My goal for April Camp NaNoWriMo was 30,000 words, 15K of which were in Blood in the Soil/Earth, and 15K of which were in other projects — namely, D&D, a white paper about NaNoWriMo, and my capstone paper. And I'm happy to say that I pretty much achieved that, with a grand total of 36,046 words at the end of the month. Plus, I actually wrote every day in April, which makes me happy! (It helps that I really wanted to get those writing streak badges on the NaNoWriMo site.) I hit my official Camp goal on April 25, the same day I finished drafting my capstone. (As it turns out, including your 15-page academic paper in your Camp wordcount is a great way to boost things up and keep yourself from getting distracted from said capstone.)
• My wordcount per project wasn't quite where I wanted it to be. I ended up with only about 13K words in Blood in the Soil/Earth and a bit over 2K in other projects. Again, a lot of that was because I spent a few days working on my capstone and only my capstone, plus I slowed down on everything once I hit my goal. (I did flirt with the idea of trying to hit 40K, but decided I had too many other things that needed my time and energy.)

Reading!

• So, yes. Another low reading month. On the upside, four out of the five were really good books, and the last one wasn't bad.
• On Stories, Adorning the Dark, and Orthodoxy were all for my capstone. I can't recommend the first two highly enough; if you are a writer or you want to be a writer or you enjoy creative pursuits in general, you need to read them. They aren't "how to write" books, but they have a lot of wisdom and insight and are generally very enjoyable to read. I was less impressed with Orthodoxy, but I was also reading it on a time crunch and frustrated by the fact that it wasn't as relevant to my actual capstone as I wanted it to be. (Also, I was tired and couldn't appreciate it as much as I wanted to.) I may have to come back to that one at a later date when I'm less exhausted.
• On the fiction side, I read Moonscript (which I had as an ARC) and Empress of All Seasons (which was also an ARC, but one I won from Emma of Awkwordly Emma). I'm in the blog tour for Moonscript, so you'll hear quite a bit about it in a week or two — though I have been helping Hannah share character art on Instagram, so if you've seen that, you've seen a bit of my fangirling. For the moment, suffice it to say that it was excellent. Empress of All Seasons was a bit less impressive; part of the problem may have been my mood, but I got frustrated with too many things to say I really loved it. I am glad I got to read it, though, and there were some interesting elements.
• Update on reading goals: I'm at 21 books read out of a goal of 99, which puts me 12 books behind schedule. Part of the issue is that Cedarville canceled Blind Date With a Book this year, which is when I do a lot of reading, plus March was 99% madness. Hopefully, I'll catch up over the summer. I'm doing better on my other goals. After this month's capstone reading, I'm at four books outside the speculative fiction genre (out of a goal of twelve such books). And I'm at a total of six books published before I was born, one of which (Orthodoxy) was published all the way back in 1908! Plus, I've found out that one of the libraries I have an account at has a sizable e-collection of Chesterton, so I may give some of his other books a try.

Life!

• This was a weird month in that I was really busy, but not a lot really happened.
• Obviously, with the quarantine on, I've spent most of my time at home. As such, pretty much all the stuff that happened was either baking, class, or D&D-related.
• The one thing that happened that didn't involve staying at home was driving back to Cedarville at the very start of the month so my sister and I could get our stuff from our dorms. It was not a fun trip, but it also could've been much worse. We also ended up getting a flat tire about an hour out from the hotel where we were staying, which was . . . interesting. I was minimally involved in the whole thing; I was in the other vehicle, and I did not get out to help my dad and sister change the tire because, quite frankly, it was cold and I didn't think I'd be much help and the gas station we stopped at was kind of sketch. Thankfully, we were able to get the tire fixed the next morning in time to go load up our stuff. In general, it was just a lot of driving (and then a lot of packing and unpacking in between the driving).
• On the college classes front: this month was a lot of final and close-to-final projects and papers and such, all of which turned out really well! I got to pull off a lot of crossover between classes and aspects of my life: my capstone is about how story influences faith (and vice versa), my final project for graphic design involved a lot of writing and a fun bit of near-future sci-fi storytelling (which my professor apparently loved; it got me one of the best grades I've ever gotten in any of his classes), my final Report Writing project was, as I mentioned earlier, a white paper about the NaNoWriMo Young Writers Program, my honors capstone pulled a lot from my PWID professional project that I did earlier in the semester, and I managed to work some JavaScript into my Web Design final project (which was supposed to be just HTML and CSS).
• Finals week was also a weird mix of chill and not; I only had one final exam (Graphic Design I, of all things), but I had a presentation and basically two papers and two projects, which took up a lot of time. I made it to the end, though, and now I've officially graduated Cedarville with a proper degree. (I'm supposed to get my actual diploma by mail in a few weeks.)
• Obviously, we couldn't have an actual graduation ceremony for reasons of the pandemic. But Cedarville did put together an online video ceremony/recollection/speech thing, so that was a pretty good substitute.
• In terms of baking: I would like to point out that I was on the sourdough bandwagon first, thanks. And I've actually been doing less bread baking than I normally would because all the stores are still out of bread flour, so I'm only making things that I think I can risk using all-purpose flour for.
• Still, I've been doing a bit of baking. A short list of the food-based adventures:
  • Replica Bertucci's rolls at the start of the month (SO GOOD).
  • Soft sourdough rolls for Easter — also very good, and they worked very well for ham sandwiches.
  • Crusty sourdough rolls. I made the double batch; they were yummy, but they used a TON of flour, so next time I'm just making a single and making the rolls smaller.
  • Sourdough crumpets — actual crumpets this time, with biscuit cutters taking the place of crumpet rings. They were DELICIOUS, a bit like a cross between an English muffin and a pancake, but better.
  • And, just yesterday, flatbread pizza with apples and cheddar cheese and sourdough chocolate cake. Yes, you read that second one correctly. It didn't turn out quite as well as I hoped, mostly because we mixed by hand when we should have used a mixer, but it wasn't bad.
• Finally, on the D&D front: the climax of my campaign's second season has been stretched from its intended two sessions into three due to my players not even considering what I thought was the obvious choice. (In all fairness, said choice involved asking more questions of a character whom everyone had agreed was kind of a prat, so it may not have been as obvious as I thought.) So, we've been kind of taking the long way round and accidentally doing things on hard mode. We're all enjoying it, though (except for the part where the poor paladin who got stuck in the middle of the group in a stairway battle and had to just hang out using her wand of magic missiles until people could move out of the way).
• And in the other D&D campaign, we've dealt with the whole orc situation (with mixed success) and now it's my character's turn to have backstory-related plot stuff. So that's going to be interesting. I'm excited, but my character is not. (She started adventuring primarily to get certain family members off her back, and she enjoyed not having to deal with those family members on a daily basis, even if she did sometimes miss her younger siblings. And now that she's going to have to deal with those family members again, she's probably going to be falling back into old habits a bit. It's going to be a very interesting challenge for me to roleplay, and it's going to be pretty confusing for some of the other players, because however much my character is frustrated with her family members, they're still her family, and she will defend them to the death even as she argues with them.)
• On the downside, the other major thing that happened this month is that the fast router we've been using for WiFi got shut off. Thankfully, it lasted for most of the semester, but now I'm trying to figure out how to do stuff when we're on more limited data. Normally it's not a problem; I just go to the library whenever I need to do something internet-heavy. But, obviously, all the libraries are closed now . . . But yeah.

May Plans

• Obviously, the next big thing for me is finding a job, something that kind of went on hold when the pandemic hit. I have one possibility from before the pandemic, but for the most part, it's going to be a lot of searching. I have some new sites to search for remote work, so that's exciting.
• The other big thing is working on my novel. I haven't been really pushing myself on the novelling front, mostly because I've always had five other more imperative things to think about. Now that I actually do have more free time, I plan to get busy, which means hopefully finishing it sometime in the near future. (Not sure exactly when. Much like Mechanical Heart, it's a story that I originally intended to be fairly short, but which is turning out to be a bit of a beast.) To that end, I'm setting a goal of 25,000 words on Blood in the Soil/Earth or a thousand words a day, which should be doable but will still force me to stretch my writing muscles a bit more. (I was originally thinking a full 30K, but I've missed several days of writing, and this will give me time to catch up.)
• The D&D group I run is going to be meeting a little more sporadically for most of May, both so I can sort out my internet situation and so I can work on the next season and a half's session plans. To that end, my other writing goal is to write three episodes over the course of the month and to come up with and write summaries for another three. (For context, my method is to write summaries of D&D episodes as I come up with them so I don't forget what I was going to do, and then I use those to write the actual episodes.)  Generally, D&D episodes aren't hard to write, but they do take time, so this one may get adjusted depending on how other things go.
• In addition to job searching, I hope to get in contact with the people I've worked internships for before and see if they need an extra writer/designer on deck. I don't want to overload myself with job searches and writing also in the mix, but I do want to try to get some income sooner rather than later.
• (I also should take this time when I can't be on social media a lot to figure out some proper social media and marketing strategy for author things. I've been saying that for a while at this point; maybe it'll finally happen now.)
• And, of course, I have the usual assortment of fun things — reading, baking, watching movies and shows, and actually playing D&D (including a potential new campaign?) — that I want to fit in somehow. Here's hoping that I can get my hands on some bread flour soon.

How are you holding up under the pandemic? Did you do Camp NaNoWriMo (and if so, how'd it go)? If you're a college student, what are your plans now that the school year is either over or almost over? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah Pennington

March 2020 Doings!

Hey'a, all! So, I think we can all agree that this last month has been utter madness, yeah? It feels like overnight, we went from "This is normal" to "State of national panic," and we're all realizing why "May you live in interesting times" is considered a curse. But for now, most of us are (I'm pretty sure) alive, so the Doings! go on as usual.

Writing!

Social distancing can't stop a good adventure, y'know?

• My goal for March was 300 words or 30 minutes per day, five days a week. I'm happy to say that I've mostly kept that goal; the only week I failed to achieve it was the second week of March — aka, the week that all insanity broke loose. Before and after that, I've kept up pretty well, with a daily average of close to 750 words per day.
• Most of those words went towards D&D writing. As I think I mentioned at some point, I wanted to get the rest of my D&D campaign (or at least this season of it) written before Camp NaNoWriMo began. I didn't quite achieve that goal, but I mostly accomplished it, so I'm happy.
• In addition, my DM for the campaign I'm in asked if I had any info about my character's family that I wanted to give him. My response was basically "How much do you want?" My character's family is a pretty significant part of her backstory, plus I love character creation, so I took the opportunity and ran with it. The end result was about nineteen pages long and had three or four paragraphs of information for each of the twenty-ish characters on my character's family tree (all of which are parents, step-parents, siblings, or step-and-half-siblings, for the record). My goal was to provide enough information that if I (or someone else) ever needed to play them as an actual character, the only thing I'd have to do would be figuring out statistics and exact mechanics. Given how disappointed I was that I can't actually play some of them, I think I succeeded.
• Outside of D&D, I've lately been doing some brainstorming on the realmatic theory of my multiverse with a friend of mine, basically figuring out implications of the parallel and perpendicular worlds that I proposed in this year's New Years special. It's been fun; he's much more of a planner than I am, and he asks good questions that help me find the holes in my ideas and the concepts that need more development or don't make sense. I also ended up making diagrams in Illustrator to help me think through my ideas, and that was unreasonably fun.

Reading!

• So, yes. That is a grand total of three books that I've read this month. They were all very good books, though, so that counts for something, right?
• As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I reread the Wingfeather Saga so I could review the new editions. They're just as good this time around as they were the first, if not better. If you want to know more, you can check out the post I wrote with my thoughts.
• The other book I read was Bryan Davis's new release, Let the Ghosts Speak. And — yes, it was weird. But it was also twisty and mysterious and atmospheric and thought-provoking and excellent for reading while curled up under the covers on a dark night. On that note, I apparently misreported the release date; it came out in paperback on Amazon just a few days ago, so if you want to pick it up (which you should; it's excellent), you can do that already! But, yeah. I'm going to post a full thoughts post next Friday, but you don't need to wait for that unless you really want to.
• I also finally finished reading the Schlock Mercenary webcomic. Or, rather, I caught up to the most recent posts . . . which means I'm stuck reading it at the very slow pace of one comic per day. I mean, don't get me wrong; most of the webcomics I read update once a week, so this is an improvement! But since I initially read it at the rate of a few books a day, it's a tiny bit agonizing. But it's still a very good webcomic. (I also discovered a few other very good webcomics in the last several weeks, so perhaps I shall do another "Favorite Webcomics" list at some point in the near future.)

Watching!

• So, funny story. My roommate loves this movie, Romancing the Stone. Despite what the name implies, it's an Indiana-Jones-esque adventure movie featuring a successful romance writer as the lead character. Anyway. For the past year at least, we've been saying that we should watch it together — but we never did, because we can barely find time to watch Avatar, let alone a full-length movie.
• Then, after I get back to Virginia the second time, my family decides to watch a movie. And we're going through the usual "well, what are we going to watch, given that no two people in this household actually have the same taste in movies" dialogue (we really don't; it's a problem), and I ask about another movie that my parents had out from the library that Alana really enjoys, The Great Race. And the parents have already watched it, but my mom brings up the fact that we actually own Romancing the Stone . . . so we watch it, because we can all actually agree on it.
• And it was actually really good. I honestly might prefer it to the one Indiana Jones I've watched — though that's partially because it includes some of my actual favorite tropes. It also helps that the female lead actually does take initiative and isn't just useless — she sometimes is clueless, yes, but it scans as a more realistic "city slicker lost in the jungle and in way over her head" sort of clueless, so it doesn't really bother me.
• (I still find the timing of when I watched it ironic, though.)

Life!

• So, we left off our last Doings! with me still at home, just finishing up Spring Break. This Doings! finds me home once again . . . but that's getting a bit ahead of myself.
• I did actually go back to Cedarville, for the record, getting back Sunday, March 8 — which was, honestly, a really good day. My friends and I celebrated with a cheese-and-game night, which was both delicious and delightful.
• Monday and Tuesday were a bit rough, as I was tired even with the rest I'd gotten over spring break and I was having a hard time getting back into the rhythm of life. Tuesday, Dr. White, Cedarville's president, made an announcement in chapel that no, Cedarville wasn't going to shut down; we were going to keep on going as we had.
• Aaaaaand then things went sideways, and Tuesday evening, one of the girls in our dorm with a late-in-the-day class said that her professor had strongly implied that Cedarville would be shutting down after all  — and once I'd heard that one rumor, more seemed to come out of the woodwork. That Tuesday night was honestly harder than any other day or night this month. All that's happened since then has been hard. But the mix of certainty and uncertainty — the fact that I knew things, but I couldn't act on them because I didn't know them — the fact that I knew but couldn't ask any professors about it because I wasn't supposed to know — that left me sleepless and afraid.
• Wednesday morning, people tried to carry on as normal. The chapel was packed; everyone was waiting to hear what was going to happen. Dr. White had our chapel speaker speak as usual, though he kept the message short. And then he came up and made the announcement: Cedarville was going online for two weeks; all students who could vacate the dorms were to do so by Friday, and classes were canceled for the next two days so professors could figure out how to transition.
• My sister and I hastily made plans: we'd spend the weekend with my roommate's family so we could let the main rush of departing traffic get ahead of us and so I could have a little more time with my roommate, just in case. Then we headed back to Virginia a week after we'd returned to Cedarville.
• Since then, we've mostly been trying to find a rhythm and attempting to keep up with all that needs to be done. Everything seems to take longer at home because I don't have class times and meal times and evening plans and everything else to work around. And I am utterly sick of seeing people talk about having all this free time at home, even anxiety-plagued free time. Technically, I do have more free time than I did at Cedarville. But it sure doesn't feel like I do.
• Anyway. On a happier note, I got a new laptop! It's very sleek and fancy and can fold into a tablet if I want it to. And it comes with a digital pen/stylus, which is going to be great for graphic design and art stuff once I figure out the most effective way to use it. And it's just so pretty and crisp and actually works with Bluetooth transmissions without a USB dongle thing and yeah.
• I also tried out another new sourdough roll recipe, this time with sausage-sandwich-type rolls. Mine turned out a bit shorter than I intended them to; I think I worried too much about making them big enough around and not enough about making them long enough. (I miscalculated which directions they'd puff, pretty much.) But they tasted great and ended up working well enough for Italian sausage sandwiches.
• Also, the last two D&D sessions in the campaign I'm a player in have been interesting. Long story short, we were trying to temporarily take control of a sizable band of orcs so we could stop them from attacking a city (because we had seven people including NPC allies, and that's not enough to take on a thousand+ orcs) by tricking them into thinking we were someone else (a plan my character was not 100% on board with, but she couldn't come up with a better idea) . . . and we actually were succeeding for a while. And then my character decided she wanted to check on an NPC whom the orcs had captured and whom we were hoping to rescue, and that indirectly led to our sorcerer, who was leading the deception, making a couple mistakes that revealed he wasn't who he claimed to be . . . not to everyone, mind you, but to one particular orc. Who then decided to corner my paladin in the dead of night and question her until she tripped up, which happened a lot faster because, y'know, deception is not my or my character's strong suit. So, yes. The party wizard and I were the only ones of the party still in the camp (the sorcerer was off doing other things; the ranger and the fighter/warlock had gone to track down another orc), so we got chased out, and then our sorcerer rolled poorly multiple times while trying to teleport back to us and high-key nearly died, so . . . yeah. This is why they tell you not to split the party. Also why you shouldn't try to run a con with a paladin in the party. Even if the paladin isn't so strictly lawful that she'll sabotage the plan on principle, the odds of her being able to keep up the cover under pressure aren't great.

• Also, I made crumpets. Well, technically, they're pikelets. But still. Life goal accomplished.

April Plans

• I'm probably insane, but yes, I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo. I'm aiming for 30,000 words, primarily on Blood in the Earth/Soil (nope, still haven't decided which one I'm naming it) . . . but, I also have a session left to write in this season of my D&D campaign, a white paper, and a capstone paper. So, in the interest of not going crazy, I'm going a little bit rebel and ruling that at least half or 500 words of my daily count have to be in my novel . . . but the other half can be other projects, whether that's D&D, school projects, or another writing project with a quickly-approaching deadline. Hopefully, that will help keep me sane.
• My sister and I also have to go back to Cedarville this month to get all the stuff we couldn't cram into our car on the trip down, so prayers for that would be appreciated. No one likes the fact that we have to travel, but we also need our things.
• Outside of that, I'll just be keeping on with business as usual, or as close to it as possible with the online classes situation. It's honestly starting to feel almost normal at this point, even the pandemic, which is . . . scary. But normal means that people, myself included, are functioning, so I'll take it.
• In D&D news, the campaign I run is about to hit its season two finale, which I am very excited about! I have the whole thing written already, though I do need to make a couple edits based on last session. (I may have made those last night after I finished writing this post. Hard to say.) I think it'll be a properly difficult challenge for the end of a storyline, and we should have some interesting character moments . . . I hope so, anyway.
• I would like to be able to do some baking at some point, but we'll see if that happens or not. Flour, as it turns out, is on the list of things that are hard to find (partially because of people stocking up for social isolation; partially because everyone and their aunt is apparently doing sourdough now). We'll see what happens.

How was your March? What's something good that's happened in your life lately? Are you doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month? (And if you are, do you need a writing group? Or another writing group? Deborah O'Carroll and I made one, and we have spots open!) Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah Pennington

February 2020 Doings!

Behold! I live! I apologize for dropping off the face of the earth, blog-wise, the last two weeks. With classes, writing, social events, and the need for decent sleep all coming in front of the need to write blog posts, blogging just didn't happen. And, fair warning, I might be a bit spotty for the next couple months as well. But for now, I'm here (and on spring break!), so let's get on with the Doings of the last month!

Writing!

• My goal for February was to write 500 words or 30 minutes a day, five days per week. I kept that goal for the first three weeks, and then I gave myself the last week as a grace week because I had a lot to get done before I left on break. Still, I wrote a total of 16,707 words, with an average of 756 words per day, so I'd say that's pretty solid.
• Most of those words were D&D-related, unsurprisingly. I wrote a one-shot, plus three campaign episodes (one of which could have been a one-shot in its own right — that one involved homebrewing my own monster villain, which was interesting), plus the Valentine's Day short stories. For anyone who missed those, they showcased the first meeting of a pair of NPCs from my campaign from each person's perspective. Ardent's perspective was on Light and Shadows, while Tiria's was on Dreams and Dragons.
• Outside of that, I did a little more work on Blood in the Earth/Soil, which mostly consisted of finishing up the scene I'd been working on and then writing the first line of the next scene. (That next scene is what I've been working on during break; it's going well. One of the sisters who hasn't been in the spotlight much gets to play a bigger role and interact with Eun-Ji, plus plot stuff is set in motion. It's great.) I also toyed with another writing project, but ended up dropping it because it conflicted with a different novel (or novella) that I plan to write in the future.

Reading!

• I did a little better with reading this month than I did last month, which is good. I finished up my reread of the Illuminae Files around the beginning of the month. Everything I said about them last month stands; they're excellent books and I anticipate coming back to them many more times. Also, can I reiterate how much I appreciate that the authors didn't give us a grimdark ending? Or grimdark anything, really? I think it's become almost a trend for endings of YA fiction to focus almost as much on what was lost as what was gained, but you really don't get that in this series.
• How To was also excellent! I think I may have enjoyed What If? just a little bit more, but I think How To is a little more helpful in certain respects. If you're a writer who tries to get some measure of scientific realism in your stories, I'd recommend picking it up; even though most of the advice is sarcastic, there is some genuinely useful information in here (especially if you tend to write dramatic, over-the-top villains).
• At the end of February and beginning of March, I did a little early celebrating of March Magics by rereading Charmed Life and The Many Lives of Christopher Chant (the first two Chrestomanci Chronicles, nicely contained in one volume) and Castle in the Air. I actually enjoyed both of the Chrestomanci books more this time around than I did the first time — which is saying something; I really like Chrestomanci. And Castle in the Air was, of course, delightful.
• Continuing the reread trend: Redwall's been on my mind on and off throughout February, so I decided to reread Lord Brocktree to see how it held up. The answer is "surprisingly well" — the prose and technical quality of the book are nothing special, but it's refreshing to read a book where the good characters are solidly good, the evil characters are truly evil, and friendship, bravery, and appreciation of life are celebrated so honestly. I'm toying with the idea of doing a Great Redwall Reread now and perhaps even blogging about it if I have time. We'll see.
• I also reread 101 Dalmatians after we watched the movie a few days ago. That one didn't hold up quite as well, but it was still fun. There are some delightful interactions that didn't make it into the movie. And, y'know, it's a fundamentally family-oriented story and we all know that I have a soft spot for those.
• In terms of nonfiction, I've spent the better part of the month slowly reading The Design of Everyday Things, which is, contrary to what I expected, not about the history behind how various ordinary items developed into their modern forms. What is it about? User-centered design, that's what. Is it giving me flashbacks to User Experience for the Web (aka my second-least-favorite PWID class)? Also yes. But it is actually a good book, and it's honestly relevant to some of what I want to do professionally, so I'm going to finish it or go down trying.
• Not reading but still bookish: I did participate in Jenelle Schmidt's February is Fantasy Month again, though not as extensively as usual. I did manage to sort of keep up with the Instagram challenge for a few weeks, which was fun.
• Finally, a quick update on how my reading goals are going! I've read twelve books so far this year, which puts me five books behind schedule, but I should be able to catch up without too much trouble, especially if I end up rereading Redwall — those aren't short books, by any means, but they go quickly. I've also only read one non-speculative-fiction book, but I'm in the middle of a second. I'm doing a bit better on reading older books — I've gotten in four of those. I mean, they're all middle grade-ish, and three of them are by Diana Wynne Jones, and pretty much all of them were published after 1956, but still. It's progress.

Watching!

• Once again, I haven't really watched much of anything this month; I've mostly been too busy. My roommate and I did watch the third episode of Avatar season 2, but that's pretty much it.
• Well, and my family rewatched 101 Dalmatians while I was home for spring break. That was quite fun. (That's why I ended up rereading the book as well.) It's kind of underrated, and if Disney tries to make a "live action" version of it like they did with Lion King and Lady and the Tramp, I shall be immensely annoyed. (I'm already annoyed about Lady and the Tramp, but there's nothing I can do about that.) Also, the art on older Disney movies? Gorgeous.
• (I also have a new appreciation for the title sequences of Disney movies after having taken graphic design classes. I know it's not exactly graphic design, but it's related, and yeah.)

Life!

• Most of this month was, to be honest, taken up by either classes, homework, or writing. As such, my main impression of most of it was of being busy and tired.
• (Not that classes and homework are bad things, of course. I actually got to design the branding for a fictional university for one of my PWID classes, and it was SO MUCH FUN. Like, yes, it was tiring and it took effort, but there's a reason I want to go into branding and marketing if at all possible.)
• My roommate and I did make it down to Orion to take advantage of their drink of the month and their Valentine's blooming tea special. So that was fun. The blooming teas look pretty cool, and they come in this adorable glass teapot and it made me quite happy. (Also quite warm, as it was snowing that day. I was distinctly displeased.)
• On an exciting note, I went to the spring career fair that Cedarville hosts and actually had several very good conversations! I'm not sure if anything will come of them, but I'm hopeful. And the companies that seem to have the highest potential would both mean I'd be spending a lot of time around engineers and scientists, which I would honestly be fine with and would probably even enjoy. (I mean, I already hang around STEM people a lot; why not continue the habit?)
• On a less exciting note, I officially stepped down as an Inklings workshop leader this month. This is a decision I've been contemplating for several months, and I finally made up my mind after the TDK Academic Integration Conference (which I'm not talking about here because it was largely frustrating for me for entirely personal reasons, but some good things did come out of it). My workshop group has only had one person regularly show up (other than me), and it's been frustrating for both of us — and workshop, in general, has been taking up more emotional and mental bandwidth than I can spare ever since the start of the school year. I feel bad about not seeing the year through, but I think that this was best for everyone (especially since the one person who did come to workshop can now move to a group with actually active people in it).
• I also spent several afternoons in Centerville so my roommate could take a series of exams that she needs to get into grad school. That wasn't great for my productivity, but it was a nice change of pace. And now she's done with that, and we celebrated with a trip to Lola's Mexican for chimichangas, which were, as always, delicious.
• And this past week, I've been home on spring break — thank goodness! I've enjoyed being able to relax and spend time with my family and not have anywhere particular to be. It's possible that I should have been more productive over break than I was, but at the same time, I've gotten a reasonable amount done, and I needed the chance to rest.
• As per the usual, being home meant trying a new sourdough recipe. This time, it was crusty sourdough rolls, and they turned out super well (as you may have seen on my Instagram). If not, behold the deliciousness:

March Plans

• I'm going back to my January writing goal of 300 words or 30 minutes of writing per day, five days per week. 500 wasn't unbearable, especially with how much I was writing D&D stuff, but I think this will be more manageable. Plus, next month is Camp NaNoWriMo, so I don't want to exhaust my writing inspiration in March and then have nothing left when April hits.
• I also have lots of books to read, especially since I've gotten ahold of ARCs for several upcoming releases: the Wingfeather Saga rereleases, Moonscript, and Let the Ghosts Speak! I think this is the most ARCs I've ever had at one time, haha. (On the downside, I'm behind on the Wingfeather Saga ones because I can't figure out how to get the ARCs from Netgalley to my Kindle. The emailing thing doesn't seem to have worked. It's a problem.) Plus, of course, I have plenty to reread, and I may try to join in with the Fellowship of Fantasy book this month. We'll see.
• More importantly than either of those: classes still exist. I want to have my Honors final project at least drafted, if not completely done, by the end of the month, and there's the usual deadlines in other classes as well.
• In terms of social activity: D&D will continue to be a thing. Also, my friend group is doing a second cheese night the night we get back to Cedarville, and I'm psyched about that. And part of the TDK Quizbowl group — myself included — is going to a tournament at the end of the month, which I'm really looking forward to. (Not just because that means I get to be back in Virginia for a weekend, but also because it's going to be fun.)

How was your February? How do you feel about rereading books you used to love? What movie do you never want to see Disney remake in "live-action"? What plans do you have for March? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah Pennington

January 2020: First DOINGS of the DECADE!

Hey'a, everyone! It is the last day of January and a Friday, and that means it's time for the first Doings post of the decade! WOOT WOOT. I have no idea why I'm making such a big deal about this, but it's something different, so we're going with it. Anyway. January's been one of those months where it feels like it's actually two or three months stuck into one, so that's been interesting. We'll see how much I remember to recap.

Writing!

• So, as far as writing quantity goes, I'm doing great. My goal was 300 words or 30 minutes of writing per day, five days a week, and though the start of the month was a little rough, I had some really good days and I currently have a really nice streak going. My total for the month so far is 24,214 words, not counting whatever I write today.
• The majority of that has been on D&D stuff, both because that has a closer deadline (I need to have a new session every Friday) and because D&D is currently easier to write than my novel. Around the beginning of the month, I planned out all the episodes for the semester, so I just have to expand my summaries into actual playable session outlines.
• I've gotten some done on Blood in the Earth/Soil, but not as much as I'd like. Again, D&D is higher priority and easier, and all the bits of my novel that I'm really excited about seem very far away. I mean, yes, they'd be closer if I worked on the bits that I'm writing now, but . . . yeah. I did manage to finish one notebook and start a second, though, which is exciting!
• (D&D is going great, though. We've had two sessions so far this month — we had to call off one because of someone's birthday — and everyone seems to be having a good time. And I'm putting Plans in motion, and everyone just hit level 5 and it's all very exciting for me.)

Reading!

• I really haven't read a lot in January — I've been knitting, and I haven't had many gaps between classes and such in which to sneak a few chapters.
• I finished King of Scars literally the day before Christmas break ended, and I have kind of mixed feelings about it. In all fairness, I really should have realized that, no duh, reading Nina's POV would be a constant reminder of that one bit at the end of Crooked Kingdom that I really disliked. Somehow, Zoya ended up being the best POV character in the story, which is impressive given how much I disliked her in the original trilogy.
• Two of my other main reads were retellings: Shadowkeeper (Hades and Persephone crossed with Castor and Polux) and A Curse So Dark and Lonely (Beauty and the Beast). Shadowkeeper was a great concept with an execution that was ok but could have been better (though it's still worth the 99 cents that it currently costs as an ebook). A Curse So Dark and Lonely has been on my TBR list for a while and is definitely one of the better Beauty and the Beast retellings I've read. The characters were great, and, wonder of wonders, people actually tried to communicate with each other after they argued instead of being huffy and stubborn. WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE. Also, it's excellently twisty.
• I'm finishing up the month by rereading the Illuminae Files, which I intended to do over Christmas break but didn't have time to read. I thought I'd just hold off on them until my next break, but then I ended up with a spare hour Monday afternoon during which I was too tired to do anything productive, and I was right next door to the library, so I figured I'd see if they had the first book . . . and they did, so I reread it in three days, and it was just as good as I remembered it. I think the reread was made better not just by the fact that I could pick up hints and clues and such but also by the fact that I took the AI class last spring and watched 2001: A Space Odyssey as a part of that, so I was reading the bits about AIDAN kind of in light of what I'd gotten then. I'm currently partway through Gemina, which is also as excellent as I remembered. (Actually better, since I'm attached to Nik this time around.)
• I'm also keeping one of my reading goals and reading outside the speculative fiction genre! Currently, I'm reading How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems, which is the most recent book by Randall Munroe (aka the guy behind XKCD and What If?). It is, as you might expect, excellent and hilarious and highly enjoyable. Absolutely would recommend.

Watching!

• I really didn't watch a whole lot this month. I saw about two-fifths of The Scarlet Pimpernel (the one with Ian McKellen in it) and thought it wasn't bad, though I didn't get to the part that I actually wanted to see (aka the part that's the book proper and not the flashback material put in chronological position). It was long and late and I wasn't feeling well, though, so I didn't finish.
• The roommate and I have also started watching (rewatching in her case) season two of Avatar: The Last Airbender. We've gotten through the first 2 episodes, which includes the "Cave of the Two Lovers" episode. That . . . was a thing. Also, Sokka in that episode is basically me during a lot of D&D.

Life!

• In case anyone was curious: the homemade artisan bread that I was working on when I posted my last Doings post was delicious. The loaves fused oddly, which wasn't great, but they tasted amazing. Definitely going to make those again once I'm home.
• But there will not be any baking for a while because, guess what, I'm back at Cedarville.
• For my last semester.
• Please insert the appropriate nervous screaming noises here. (If you've lived in the same dorm as me for any length of time, you probably have a pretty accurate idea of what that sounds like.)
• Anyway, yes. It's my last semester. I'm enjoying most of my classes, and even the two classes that I'm not crazy for, I like the people there and I'm glad to be taking one last class with them, if nothing else.
• But I'm basically in two web design classes (Web Design II and my independent study) and it's a lot, but I'm really enjoying it. Coding and scripting and such are weirdly satisfying in a way that graphic design and writing aren't, and I can't really explain why, but yeah. It's great. I like it. There's about a 30% chance that I'm going to find a way to work these skills into my PWID professional project (read; basically a pre-capstone project), though it kind of depends on what my professor and I decide.
• I'm also back in a class where the amount I talk during discussions actually affects my grade, and it's surprisingly hard to adjust after a full semester (possibly a full year?) with no classes like that.
• Outside of classwork: my roommate got Sentinels of the Multiverse (aka one of my favorite strategy games ever) for Christmas, so we've been playing that a fair bit whenever we both have a decent chunk of spare time. I've gotten to test out different heroes, which is fun. My favorites are definitely Fanatic (basically a paladin with wings; she smites evil a bunch and occasionally heals people) and Chrono-Ranger (time-traveling cowboy and bounty hunter whose effectiveness is directly proportional to how many bounties he has out at any given time). I've also determined that how much I enjoy playing a character is determined as much by aesthetic as it is by mechanics.
• My online D&D group is also still going strong. We had some MAJOR REVELATIONS dropped on us, not last session but the session before that, and some of us are still processing that, but we have a very clear objective in front of us right now, which is nice! And it does not involve negotiating with dragons other than the one in the party! Which my character is very happy about!
• Also this month was CU Lead, which is a leadership conference that all org officers are required to go to. It was not a fabulous day — it rained, some of the vital conference information was only available in an app that I couldn't download, and there were a lot of people. But it was a lot more helpful than last year's conference, with more practical advice and less theory and devotional-type stuff, so that's good.
• Additional not-terrible thing: CU Lead was the Saturday before MLK Day, and for the first time ever, we got MLK Day off from classes. So we had that day to make up all the homework and social stuff we didn't have time for on Friday, at least. And the chem club had a game night that evening, which was fun. (Oddly, the chem club game night was more fun than the Inklings game night this past week, even though I knew fewer people by far. I think it has to do with the personality dynamics of the people in the club.) And my roommate and I went to the Mexican restaurant down in the town for lunch, which was completely and utterly delicious.

February Plans

• I have two basically-final projects that I plan to start this month (my Honors colloquium project and my aforementioned professional project) and it's so weird to think about that. Plus, of course, I have the usual projects and reading and such.
• Writing-wise, I plan to keep going with roughly the same goal as I had this past month, but I'm upping the amount a little to 500 words or 30 minutes of writing, 5 days a week. I could probably go even higher if I wanted to, but I don't want to overdo anything, especially since I don't know how much time class projects will take up.
• That writing, by the way, will hopefully include at least one, maybe two, Valentine's Day short stories (because it sounds like fun and I currently don't get to write any romantic scenes in my WIP). Watch for more about that on my Facebook page sometime today or tomorrow.
• February also means Blind Date with a Book at the Cedarville University library, which I am super psyched for! I'm curious how they're going to handle it this year, but I'm sure it'll be great. I'm going to read so many books this month, haha.
• Outside of that, D&D and orgs and such will probably proceed as per the usual. I do have a couple D&D and other tabletop RPG one-shots that I'm either running or participating in, which I'm excited for. (The one-shot I'm running is set in Eberron, which means I get to be steampunky and I get to mess around with an artificer NPC, so that'll be super fun.)
• And, yeah. That's pretty much it. But I think it should be plenty to keep me busy.

How was your January? Have you been able to keep any of your resolutions or goals from the start of the New Year? What plans do you have for February? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah (Leilani Sunblade) 

My Fault: A Star Wars Fanfic

In which I celebrate Star Wars Day by- what else?- writing a bit of fanfic. A note for those unfamiliar with the characters and circumstances, otherwise known as everyone who doesn't take part in the CaC2 roleplay on Whitehall Castle forum, otherwise known as most of my blog readership: this roleplay is set before any of the movies, during the Old Republic era (around the year 3653 BBY, to be exact). These particular events occur shortly after a group of Jedi have made a raid on the Sith Academy on Korriban in an attempt to recover a stolen holocron. The results, however, have been less than successful . . .

---

Three ships left Korriban, two members lighter than when they’d come. In the medbay of the Felrel, Ver Tai slumped by the bacta tank where her sister rested, still and silent and serene. If Ver only looked at Dae’s face, what she could see of it beneath the mask, she could almost convince herself that Dae was simply sleeping. But her eye invariably wandered lower, to the bloodstains at Dae’s midsection, and so she couldn’t forget how close death still lurked. As if Polla hadn’t been enough . . .

Thoughts of the day spun in a mental misery-go-round, despite Ver’s efforts to not dwell on what had happened. They’d failed. She’d failed. The holocron was still lost, Aza was captured, Dae had almost died, Polla had died because Ver hadn’t been able to defend herself, hadn’t moved fast enough, hadn’t fought well enough . . .

Once or twice the cycle slowed enough for a few halfhearted, un-Jedi-like thoughts of what she’d do if she happened to meet the Sith who attacked Dae, who left her bloody and dying . . . the Sith who used whirling blades rather than sabers. Strange, that was, and frightening. Lightsabers and blasters blackened and burned; they didn’t leave their victims to slowly bleed out . . . She should’ve been there when Dae was attacked; they should’ve been gone before the Sith even realized Dae was there; why hadn’t they moved faster . . .?

Ver was still sitting there when the ship docked in the Temple the next morning. But when she tried to follow the infirmary workers come to move Dae, they pushed her aside and told her to go get some rest, that there was nothing she could do, that she looked like she was about to collapse and they didn’t have space for a fool Jedi who worried herself to exhaustion. That might actually have been true, with all the attacks that had been happening lately, and so Ver straggled off as ordered.

But she didn’t actually make it to her room, or to the dining hall, or to anywhere in particular she might’ve meant to go. Instead, her former master found her crumpled against the wall in a little-used corridor, head in her arms, elbows resting on her knees. He’d heard about the mission by now, of course. A Jedi had died; everyone knew about it. And so he didn’t have to ask what happened, what was wrong, how could he help. Instead, with an exasperated shake of his head, he pulled Ver to her feet and half-supported, half-dragged her to her room, ignoring her muttered insistence that she was fine, that she’d be fine, and no, she didn’t want to talk about what happened.

Dae wasn’t awake the next day, when Ver checked after six hours of exhausted sleep, an official Council debriefing, and a hundred inquiries from well-meaning friends and acquaintances about was she all right and how was Dae doing, and an equal number of assurances that they’d both be fine. Ver hadn’t protested the latter, even though they were wrong. They didn’t know Dae would recover; even the doctors didn’t know if Dae would recover; and whatever happened, Ver wasn’t sure she herself would ever be fine again. Not with Aza captured, Polla dead, Dae dying, all because she’d failed, failed, failed . . .

The next day passed, and the nurses transferred Dae from the bacta tank to a bed. The wounds on Dae’s midsection were reduced to pink scars by now, but still Dae didn’t awaken . . . The infirmary attendants assured Ver that this was fine, this was normal, that after such a close brush with death some patients didn’t wake up for some time because their minds and bodies were still healing, and bacta could only do so much. Ver worried anyway, and now she practically took up residence in the chair by Dae’s bed. The nurses and other workers grew used to seeing her there: slumped in restless sleep, or meditating, or reading or working on her datapad, or holding Dae’s hand and talking to her in hopes of a response.

Once or twice, Dae drifted close enough to consciousness to talk too- in her sleep, muttering about masked Sith and flying blades and lightning, and calling Ver’s name. But not once did she fully awaken, even as the days turned into weeks and still Ver kept her vigil, only departing when basic necessities and responsibilities forced her to. Others came by often, bearing comforting words and mugs of tea and occasionally the suggestion that Dae would rather Ver go on with living her life rather than just sitting here and fretting. Ver accepted the first two gratefully and glared at the last. Her life could wait until Dae woke up, and surely it wouldn’t be too much longer, it couldn’t be . . .

When the others weren’t there, and when Ver had run out of things to say to Dae for the moment, her thoughts inevitably turned back towards the mission. She replayed every moment, every choice in minute detail, wondering: if she’d done this, if she’d said that, if she’d moved faster here or responded better there, would they not have failed? Would they have recovered the holocron? Would Aza not have been captured, Dae not be lying here? Would Polla still be alive? Would I not have failed? She never found answers, only a growing certainty that if she’d simply been better somehow; everything would’ve been all right.

And then, late one night, a long-awaited voice interrupted the spin of her thoughts as she drifted towards dozing: “’S not your fault.”

Ver started. “What?” She turned-

And there was Dae, eyes open, half-turned on her side to face Ver. “’S not your fault. Whatever you’re thinking is your fault, ‘s not. Never is, ‘cept when you make it that way.”

Not her fault, she made it her fault . . . Ver couldn’t think through the ramifications of Dae’s words right now; there were more important things to focus on. “You’re awake.”

“’Course I am.” But Dae’s eyes drifted towards closing again, and her tone was still heavy with sleep. “I got tired of feeling you mope beside me, so I had t’ wake up and set you straight. How long’d I nap?”

“Two weeks.” Ver took her sister’s hand where it rested on the rails of the bed. “And if you ever come this close to dying again, I’ll . . . I’ll kill you myself.” She’d meant the threat to be teasing; it came out wobbly and suggestive of tears.

“Don’t plan on it. It wasn’t fun . . .” Dae shook her head, trying to stay awake. “Next time, you can take on the ridiculously overpowered Sith and I’ll sneak around and enjoy myself, ‘k?”

“I vote we both sneak around and leave the overpowered Sith to fight each other instead.” Ver’s smile faded. “The mission failed, Dae.”

“I know.” Dae squeezed Ver’s hand weakly. “But ‘s still not your fault.”

Ver nodded silently. The questions, the self-accusations still swirled. But in that moment, she could almost believe Dae- and even if Dae was wrong, maybe it would be fine. She had another chance. And this time, this time she wouldn’t fail.

---

Happy Star Wars Day, and May the Fourth be with you. Hope you enjoyed the fanfic!-Sarah (Leilani Sunblade)  

January Doings

So I decided that I ought to try doing a monthly recap sort of post, much like Deborah O'Carroll's Monthly Ish-ness posts and Katie Grace's Monthly Highlights. This is partially so I have something else to blog about, partially so I can lump all the little things that (I think) happen that I find interesting but not worth blogging about on their own into one larger post, and partially so that in six or so months, when I'm wondering "What the thrice-baked pumpernickel did I do in January? Did that month even actually exist?" I can look back and have this post as a reference. (And also as an assurance that the month did, indeed, happen. Logically, I know that all months and days and such must have existed, but sometimes they all just blur together so that some bits and pieces of time feel as if they didn't actually happen and it's rather disorienting.)

Anyway. Doings!

Writing!

•  On January 4th, I finished writing Binding Destiny! I'm happier about that than I have a right to be- comparatively speaking, I wasn't working on it for long, only a bit over two months. However, I was also a bit tired of it, mostly because I pushed myself so hard during NaNoWriMo and it just didn't turn out like I expected. But I'm still fairly happy with it, all things considered.
• I did not finish Monster in the Castle. But I did finish a sixth notebook's worth of first draft (I'm fairly certain that the size of this novel is a bigger monster than the titular one . . .) and I'm rapidly approaching the climax, so we're good. And I get to write about the Princess du Karel, who changed about a year ago from being a rather cliche and useless sort of sub-villain to one of my favorite characters in the novel (after the protagonists and Jason Silver- and, honestly, she might be on par with the heroine). Can you tell that I'm excited?
• For those wondering: yes, I did solve the dilemma I mentioned before NaNoWriMo concerning the shirt-washing situation. Many thanks to Meredith and Elethia for their suggestions!
• I'm trying to edit Destinies and Decisions. It's going . . . slowly. My wordcount spreadsheet says I edited 5,038 words this month, which isn't very much. Part of it's because I'm procrastinating; part of it's because I'm having to shift a lot of scenes around and completely rewrite several of those scenes.
• I did download yWriter to my laptop in hopes that it might be helpful, since I know some of my friends use it. I'm . . . still figuring it out. And also wondering if I might've been better off to just stick with Microsoft Word. But everyone raves about how Scrivener is so amazing, and yWriter is the same type of software, just fewer features, so I thought I'd give it a try. I don't know. It's a muddle right now. People with yWriter or Scrivener: please remind me what I should be getting out of this program, because I feel like I might be missing something.

Reading!

• Apparently I only read twelve books this month. Which would be sad, except . . .
• Two of the books were rereads of The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance. Which are gorgeously thick and enormous books, and which are as amazing and incredible as they are gigantic. So, rereading those took at least a week and a half, during which I rarely got to sleep before 10:30 because there's always another chapter and I for some reason think that saying "Hey, I'll read a chapter before I go to sleep" is a good idea. (Actually, it is a good idea for my reading habits. Just not good for my sleeping habits.)
• I also reread Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow as research for Monster in the Castle, since that book was one of the original inspirations for my story. And I reread Illusionarium, though I didn't record it on Goodreads. (I tried the recently-released audiobook, but wasn't thrilled- mostly because I wanted a British-sounding narrator and didn't get one. Oh well. That was my only real quibble with what I listened to of the book, so don't let me stop you from trying it yourself.)
• Then there were the new-to-me books I read: Moving Pictures (Discworld, and therefore weird, but also quite good), Prince of Demargen (an improvement over the first two! Go read it!), Relic (which I'd been looking forward to for a while, but which was . . . not quite what I was expecting?), Cascade (second in the River of Time series, which I liked about the same as I did the first), Reaper Man (more Discworld weirdly-awesome-ness), The Hero and the Crown (which was generally pretty good), and Whose Body (the first of the Lord Peter Whimsey mysteries; I'm sorry to say it disappointed me). Overall, not too bad.

Life!

• Snow. That happened. Not too much of it yet, thankfully. I'm still trying to get over the fact that Virginia got buried under snow and New York barely got any. (So far. Next month's February; we all know what that means . . .) 
• My sister and I worked our way through two Nancy Drew games: The Phantom of Venice and The Haunting of Castle Malloy. Both were fun- not my favorites, but fun. Though some bits of Castle Malloy could be tedious . . . like chasing sheep around in the dark. My sister will tell you that I eventually ordered asked her to finish that bit of the game for me, since I'd run out of patience. 
• I joined/helped start a Stormlight Archive roleplay on Whitehall Castle! I'm playing a proto-Edgedancer (who may or may not be based on one of my novel characters), and I'm super excited to see where the story goes. 
• I'm sure there should be something else here, but I can't for the life of me think of what it should be. School, I suppose, but no one wants to hear about that.

 February Plans!

• I am going to finish Monster in the Castle. I really am. I'm too close to the end to let another month go by without writing "The End." And I have the ending scenes all planned out (well, sort of- I have pictures in my head of the really important bits) and I really want to write them, so. It's going to happen.
• I'm also doing a month-long word war of sorts with some friends on Whitehall Castle. That'll help with the finishing-Monster-in-the-Castle goal as well. I expect I'll be sorely beaten, but I'll try my best anyway.
• And I'm going to continue editing and hopefully accomplish a bit more than I did this month. Maybe I'll even get past the annoying rewrite-heavy bits! Or figure out yWriter! 
• School stuff. Not going to talk about it because it's not especially interesting.
• Hopefully I'm going to read more than twelve books. But Bands of Mourning is out, and Calamity is coming out, so as long as I get those two, I'm happy. (I'd like more Discworld, though, and I'm hoping to reread the Girl of Fire and Thorns trilogy. And The Eye of the World is waiting for me to pick it up as well . . .)   

 How's your January been? What plans do you have for February? If you use yWriter or Scrivener or similar, how do you use it? (I don't mean in the tutorial sense . . . I mean in the "what aspects of it do you find most helpful" and that sort of thing sense.) Please tell me in comments!

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah (Leilani Sunblade)  
         

Why I Love Roleplaying

I love roleplays. If you and I have met on a forum, or on Goodreads, you might know that already; the roleplay threads are where you'll find me posting the most. I love it as much as I love writing- maybe more at times, since it combines some of the best parts of both reading and writing: the excitement of finding out what'll happen next, the thrill of creating characters and a story. But that's not the only reason I love to roleplay . . . and this week, I'm going to tell you why.

Why I Love Roleplaying

1. It's telling a story, but with other people. I love writing things by myself. But I also love writing with other people, seeing what happens when different people work together to tell one story. Each person has a different view on the situation, different expectations on how it'll go, different ideas for the story they're trying to tell. Put those together and you get something special- something that never would've happened without collaboration. And while sometimes those differences can end up being explosive . . . more often than not, they turn into something pretty awesome.
2. It teaches you to improvise. In a novel, you're in control. No matter what you say about characters surprising you, you're the one who creates the plot and tells them where to go. In a roleplay, it's a different story. You can't know what the other players will throw in your way, what the other characters will do. You have your own characters and, depending on who- if anyone- is running the story, certain plot elements. And so when your roleplaying partner (who happens to be the GM of this particular plot in all but name) throws your Jedi against four scarily powerful Sith ghosts (not all at the same time, thankfully) and everything those Sith and the traitor who let them out can come up with . . . well, you learn to think your way out of situations you never would've come up with on your own.
3. It teaches you how to plan (and to write convincing villains). On the other hand, if you happen to be the one largely driving the plot, well, you need to be able to plan ahead- at least a little bit. Otherwise, you'll find yourself spending a lot of time stalling while you try to figure out where to go, and that's the best way to kill a roleplay. And you need to be able to write a good villain- one who'll raise the other players' interest and who'll give them a good fight before going down, but who is possible to defeat . . . one way or another. 
4. It gives you ideas for your own stories. I'm sure I've said it before: at least half my characters owe their origins, one way or another, to roleplay threads. The Battle! thread, one of the longest-running roleplays I've ever been a part of, gave birth to my Berstru Tales novels and the Alyron and Firhirt families that make up most of the characters in those stories. And some of those characters came from other roleplays before Battle!; Jared Alyron in particular- along with Jason Silver and Jarek Gilleth- came from Jared Siver, a character on a dying roleplay who I just couldn't seem to let go of (and still can't). Outside of my own experience, I know that two or three of my other friends (including the one who came up with the four Sith ghosts) have written or are writing their own books based on roleplay threads.
5. On the other hand, it's a good testing ground for your ideas. For example, there's the New Generation- an idea I came up with after I watched The Avengers for the first time. What happens when the government decides the existing superheroes are too inclined to be loose cannons? When they decide to try to create their own heroes, more loyal to them than the originals? I thought of writing it as a fanfic or a novel- but I had enough projects going on already, and I knew next to nothing about writing superheroes anyway. But the next summer, there came a surge of superhero threads . . . and so I grabbed the opportunity to test my idea, and I think it's turned out pretty well.

Of course, there's one last, very simple reason I love roleplaying: it's just plain fun to come up with characters and see them interact with each other and with the challenges you put in their way. It's one of the same reasons I enjoy writing.

Have you ever roleplayed? If you have, what are some of your favorite roleplaying memories? Please tell me in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah (Leilani Sunblade)