Tuesday, August 22, 2017

So, I Wrote a Thing . . .

For context: a few weeks ago, a few friends and I were discussing a book on Google Hangouts and one of the friends mentioned that she had, at one point, put a promise to make spaghetti whenever asked in a character's wedding vows, just to see if her coauthor would notice. This led to a challenge to come up with an awesome backstory for why the character would promise such a thing. And thus, this happened: 
Once, in a land much like our own only more magical, there was a girl who has never tasted spaghetti. Unfortunately, she lived in New Mexico, and all people of Hispanic descent had long ago sworn enmity against the Italians because of some betrayal in a long ago war. One day, this girl accidentally annoyed a sorcerer. Believing that overkill is always the best response, he cursed her to die before the year was out, unless she could taste that which she most desired but could not attain before that time. He also made her mute, so she couldn't just say, "Hey, my life depends on having a plate of spaghetti."

All her family and friends tried everything they could think of. They perfected all their best dishes, then they started buying rare foods from all over the world, hoping one of them would be the cure. None of them succeeded, because they didn't think of spaghetti, but a few went on to be world-famous chefs because of their efforts.

However, the girl's best friend since childhood, who happened to be in love her (and she with him, though neither would admit it) knew of her secret desire, for she'd told it to him one evening. Alone, without telling anyone for fear they should disbelieve and stop him, he set out to find spaghetti.
Along the way, he faced great opposition from the sorcerer's minions, but through wit and courage, escaped each time, though not always unharmed.
Then he reached New York State and found a town full of Italian people. But they were tired of the Mexicans and Spanish treating them like dirt because of something their ancestors did, so they refused to even speak with him. A few even beat him up and tossed him out of town.
However, as he sought to sneak back in, he encountered a girl of no more than ten and her even younger brothers. They asked him why he was so determined to get inside the town, and he told them about his friend and the sorcerer and the curse. The girl was thrilled to have encountered someone on an adventure and said that she'd help him. So she snuck him into her house and went to find her older brother, who she knew secretly wanted to try enchiladas.
After she convinced the brother to actually talk to our hero instead of throwing him out, the two young men agreed to teach each other their recipes while the little girl went to the grocery store down the street to pick up more spaghetti for the boy to take with him.
During the cooking lesson, the young men became friends. So our hero left with not only spaghetti, but homemade sauce and meatballs and directions to a nearby semi-friendly wizard so he could get home without the meatballs spoiling.
The wizard was willing to send him home, but only after making the boy clean out and replant his garden and promise to bring him some really spicy jalepeno peppers, for, though he was not Hispanic, he had lived in the Southwest in his youth and missed the cuisine greatly. Plus, as everyone knows, New York doesn't know the true meaning of spicy. The boy promised, and the wizard teleported him back to his hometown.
The boy arrived before dawn and snuck back into his house. As quickly and carefully as he could, he prepared a pot of spaghetti. All his clatter in the kitchen nonetheless woke his family, who all demanded to know what he was doing and where he'd been and what he was making, but he only said, "I'm saving my friend's life!" and they had to let him be because everyone was desperate at this point.
The boy finished making the spaghetti and rushed over to the girl's house. The girl's parents let him in and woke her up so she could try what he had brought (though they didn't know it was spaghetti). The girl was, by this time, pretty sick and had nearly given up hope, but her spirits rose when she saw her friend. They rose still more when she saw what it was he had brought.
After three bites of the spaghetti, her voice returned, and she thanked her friend with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. After half the plate, she looked nearly as good as new, and the boy had stopped worrying enough that he would answer everyone who kept asking where he'd been and what this food was.
They were all outraged that it had been Italian food, not good, honest Mexican food that saved her. But some of them were curious and asked to try the spaghetti and were quite impressed. They convinced their friends to try some too, and before long, nearly half the town learned to love spaghetti.
They reached out to the people of the New York town, humbly asking forgiveness and if perhaps they could have a new supply of spaghetti and meatballs and such. The people of that town, for their part, had fallen in love with the enchiladas made by the brother of the little girl (though they weren't crazy about the wizard's super spicy jalapenos) so they were willing to reconcile and even teach the New Mexico town how to make more yummy foods, like eggplant Parmesan and lasagna, if the New Mexico town would supply them with tortillas and taco sauce and queso and teach them to make burritos and taquiotos and such. So the two opposing towns became friends through the power of delicious food.
Meanwhile, the girl and the boy dated for a while and then got married. In their vows, the boy promised to make the girl spaghetti any time she asked, so long as they both lived. And they all lived happily ever after, except the sorcerer, who was so annoyed at how things worked out that he moved to California in search of the perfect avocado toast. 
The end.
I hope you enjoyed my little bit of fun. I should get back to regular posts, including Fight Song chapters, soon; the last few weeks have been pretty busy. Have a nice day!


  1. As the author who had snuck the spaghetti into the vows ... this is the most awesome and epic thing ever.

  2. I love this!!! XD That is such a cute story. :)

  3. Whoa this is great. *throws confetti on it* Such a cool backstory. :P

  4. This is fantastic (and delicious)!

  5. Hahahahaha!! Sarah this is hilarious!! I knew as soon as I started reading this post that Kenji was the one who'd snuck it into vows, but this... Wow! You did a great job. I'll read it to my younger siblings later and they are going to die laughing. Enchiladas (various kinds) and Spaghetti are two of our top favorite meals.

    1. Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I love Mexican and Italian food in general, which is part of where this story came from. Hope your siblings enjoy, and thanks for stopping by!


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