The Terrible Shriek of Princess Carrie du Kaye

Once, long ago, in a land far away

There was a fair princess called Carrie du Kaye

It cannot be denied that she was quite good

At doing the things all princesses should-

Like dancing and sewing and being polite

(Even to people she didn’t quite like)

And playing the lute and singing so sweet

And keeping clothes and hair so nice and neat.

But one thing about this princess just must be said:

When it came to a fuss, she could not keep her head!

At the mere sight of blood she’d faint dead away.

(Once she didn’t wake up for a night and a day!)

And if the smallest of bees should be flying around,

She’d scream and she’d cry until all heard the sound.

So, knowing this knowledge, it’s no wonder, you see,

That when one day a dragon dropped by at tea

And carried her off, away through the sky,

Princess Carrie du Kaye let out a great cry.

So very loud and long was her shout on that day

That it scared every bird so they flew far away.

They flew with the insects ‘til they couldn’t hear Carrie’s cry.

But the poor dragon was wondering why

He’d had to pick this fair maiden to snatch-

Surely there were quieter girls he could catch!

Her scream just went on, and for a half-hour he endured

Carrie’s carrying-on, with nary a word.

Then, finally, he thought to himself,

“It’s certainly not worth, it not if she were an elf!”

(Every dragon knows in these parts

That catching an elf is a sign of great smarts.)

“She’s far too loud; I can’t hear myself think,”

This he decided in the space of a wink.

So he turned back around just like that

And took Princess Carrie home in ten minutes flat!

And not even once did he e’er darken her door-

Nor any dragon, forevermore!

So that is the story of how and of why,

Princess Carrie du Kaye, with her terrified cry,

Forced a great dragon to take her home

And, furthermore, to leave her alone.

The moral of the tale: if by dragon you’re caught,

Give Princess Carrie’s tale a short thought

And scream long and loud so the dragon can hear

And hope that your screaming will very much hurt his ears!